Tim Sylvia and the Willy-Nilly Freak Show
The armpit of America? Whatever…we’ve heard it all. Granted, the air around our major airport is somewhat malodorous; alright, it reeks, I’ll give you that. You can make fun of New Jersey all you want, but at least our Athletic Control Board refused to sanction the proposed boxing match between former UFC heavyweight champion, Tim “The Maine-iac” Sylvia, and boxing’s own “Merciless” Ray Mercer. Yes, you heard me right, Ray Mercer! Unfortunately, you know what they say, “The show must go on.” Really? Does it have to?
Sylvia and Mercer will fight in the main event of Adrenaline III, another attempt by the developmentally disabled to merge MMA and boxing. The bout (if you can call it that) will now take place on June 13, at the BJCC arena in Birmingham, Alabama. The “fight” represents Tim Sylvia’s “professional” boxing debut. I don’t know about you but, right about now, I feel a little nauseous. In fact, I just dry-heaved. I officially have, what are known as, the “douche-chills” for Tim Sylvia. What the hell is this guy thinking? I’m not saying that a legitimate attempt at transitioning from one professional sport to another is a bad thing. However, that is not what is happening here.
This, my friends, is a goddamn circus sideshow! They might as well have “The Bearded Lady” versus “Lizard Boy” on the undercard! Yes, Tim Sylvia has achieved a great deal in MMA, no one is denying that. However, his best days are behind him. Let’s face it, he is 33 years old, and he dropped three of his last four MMA fights. I agree that it is time for him to find something else to do with his time. But Boxing? You tell me the last time a gawky, awkward, acromegalic fighter, who began his boxing career at the age of 33, made a successful go of it. Go ahead, research it, I’ll wait.
I suppose that is the reason he is facing a 47 year-old Ray Mercer. Not to take anything away from Ray Mercer. After all, he did win an Olympic gold medal. He is also the former WBO heavyweight champion, and we all remember that fateful day in 1991 when he delivered, what is arguably, the most devastating knockout in heavyweight boxing history. Well, I know Tommy Morrison remembers. Come to think of it, he may not remember it; severe head trauma has been known to cause memory loss. Nonetheless, Ray Mercer’s best days are behind him as well. Hell, they were behind him 15 years ago!!
Over the last 4 or 5 years, with the help of Dana White and others, MMA has made huge strides in its ongoing endeavor to shed its side show image. The last thing the sport needs is this unholy union with boxing. I understand times are hard, and I get that Tim Sylvia wants to keep working, especially in these dark economic times. Is there nothing else he can do? Does he have to sell his soul so soon? Shit, even Gary Coleman held out for a while before becoming mall security guard!! Oh well; I suppose there is nothing we can do about it kids…the freak show is coming to town, whether we like it or not.